Mind your steps when Eros is bored!
by Cinnamon-chris
Summary: Pan peeks at a naked Aphrodite, and Eros takes revenge. Hestia doesn't likes his plan. A parodyromance twisted Greek Myth I made up, please review! :p


**Mind your steps if Eros is bored!**

_It all started a couple of days ago. It was a sunny day, the birds whistled and there blew a cool breeze through the whole forest. No one was bored. Pan and the Satyrs were peeking at how Aphrodite sunbathed, Artemis held a running contest with her Nymphs, and even Persephone, who wasn't allowed to get out of the underworld, secretly went to Mount Olympus to visited her mother Demeter on this beautiful day. Nobody felt bored at a day like this one, except Eros. He saw how Pan looked at his mother, and then, just like a magical POOF, he felt naughty..._

**Eros: **(mumbling) I'll get that stupid sufferer of a identity crisis! (imitating Pan) "Ooh no, look at me, I don't know if I'm human or a goat! Well, I do know I'm a pervert, so let's peek at Eros' naked mom!" Well I'll get you, Mr. I-don't-were-pants! HA!

_So Eros went to the temple of Hestia, and he called her..._

**Eros: **Yo, Hestia, d'you got a minute?

**Hestia: **Oh, Eros is this important? I've got 15 new Vestical Virgins I have to explain what'll happen if they lose their virginity! And for Elmo's sake, they aren't really smart, even drool monkeys have a higher IQ!

**Eros: **Yeah whatever, this won't take long, gimme a hair of yours

**Hestia: **Why the hell, sorry Hades, do you need THAT for?

**Eros: **Erh... because I like your hair so much?

**Hestia: **Nice try, I know you're trying to couple me to some guy.

**Eros: **C'mon Hes, I need your hair because of Pan, he's peeking at Mom! While she's naked! I want him to fall in love with you, and then if you don't answer his love, maybe he learns a lesson...

**Hestia: **Pan erh? Well okay then, that stupid goat seduced my best Virgin! And now she's... well, she's keeping Hades and Persephone company.

**Eros: **(giggles)

**Hestia: **That's not funny, dork! (smacking Eros on his head)

**Eros: **Ouch! You bitch! Gimme your hair and I'm outa here!

**Hestia: **(Pulling out three of her hairs) Here you go, dork.

**Eros: **Yeah whatever, see ya!

_Eros flies back to the woods, ties up some hair to an arrow, and shoots the arrow into Pans butt. _

**Eros: **(mumbles) Perv!

**Pan: **Yo dudes, come on, watching Aphrie becomes boring.

**Eros: **Hey Pan! How're you doing?

**Pan: **Yo, Angel Dude! I'm fine, whazzup with you?

**Eros: **I'm fine thanks, so are you guys watching out my mom?

**Pan: **(embarrassed) Well actually... yeah we were, but it's boring now. (whispering) Eros, I feel so weird, I think I'm in love, can you set me up with this chick?

**Eros: **(giggles evil) Yeah sure, who's the chick?

**Pan; **Do you know that flame chick, Hestia?

**Hestia: **Yeah, what's with her?

**Pan: **Well she's the chick, I want her to be my chick, you know?

**Eros: **Get your ideas outa there! Hestia is a virgin goddess!

**Pan: **(giggles) When I'm done with her she won't.

**Eros: **You make me sick, I won't set you up with Hestia, Hestia doesn't like you!

**Pan: **(shocked) How come? Aahw crap, did she find out I was the one who send her all the porn magazines?

**Eros: **What the F...? You little pervert! Well never mind, no I won't get Hestia in love with her, you can kiss that idea's ass goodbye!

**Pan: **Aahw crap! I even made her this 'Would-you-be-my-bitch'-card, and I even used the glittery Spongebob stickers to decorate them?

**Eros: **Ooh, ooh, Spongebob! Did you saw the one where he and Sandy... never mind.

**Pan: **Come on, make her fall in love with me? Pleaaaaaaase?

**Eros: **Hell no, for Spongebob's sake, if you love her that much, you'll have to seduce her by yourself!

**Pan: **(insulted) You might look like an Angel Dude, but you're actually a Devilish Dude!

**Eros: **Whatever (POOF and he's gone)

_Pan's muttering in himself and walks grudgingly to Hestia's temple to look for her._

**Pan: **Oh Hestia hon?

**Hestia: **(angry) What do you need? I won't lend you any money anymore!

**Pan: **Erh, right, hon. I want you to be my girlfriend!

**Hestia: **Hell no! And now leave or I'll lend some of Zeus' thunder sticks and you're ass is going to be fried!

**Pan: **Ooh, spicy, I like that in a girl. Would you be the officer? I'll be the naughty one, shall I bring my handcuffs?

**Hestia:** Go away! Go and jerk yourself off with some of those porn magazines you send me!

**Pan: **How did you knew that was me?

**Hestia: **(sarcastic) Well I don't know, maybe because there was a note with: "Hope you'll like it, Pan"

**Pan: **Oh yeah, dude, really gotta stop eating those mushrooms

**Hestia: **Pan, now go or you'll be really sorry!

**Pan: **Okay hon, see ya tonight?

**Hestia: **OUT!

**Pan: **Okay hon. (hops away)

**Hestia:** EROS GET YOUR BUTT OVER HERE!

**Eros: **Yo Hes, what's up?

**Hestia: **EROS, YOU SUCK! THE GOAT-BOY WAS HERE A MINUTE AGO!

**Eros: **I know, what's up with him? Calm down Hes, shouting won't help!

**Hestia: **Well that perv is trying to get me into his bed, YUCK!

**Eros: **Yeah, so what? You know Pan, he's trying to sleep with every thing that doesn't have a scrotum in this world. He even wanted to sleep with Barbra Streisand, and did you ever saw her nose? For the love of Zeus, an airplane could land on that thing! I've got horrible nightmares about her...

**Hestia: **You little winged freak, enough about Barbra Streisand, although I liked her in Meet the Fockers, you're going to do something about Pan you...What the hell are you doing? Are you giving yourself a manicure?

**Eros: **Yeah, that's what civilised people do, babe. You should try it too in stead of biting on your nails.

**Hestia: **Don't start another subject, do something about Pan or I'll kick your behind!

**Eros: **Yeah whatever. (POOF and he's gone again, how does he do that by the way?)

_After a long day, the sun switch places with the moon. Whereas Selene watches over the world, Hestia is tired and goes to bed. In the bathroom she takes off her satin gown, and changes it for a silk nightdress. When she's ready to dive into her soft, cosy bed with all her fluffy pillows, she goes to her room, and finds a not-so-welcome surprise on her bed. Pan is lying on her sheets, WITHOUT CLOTHES! Oh wait a minute, he never wears clothes, but that's not the point right now. He's lying on her bed in a pose that Hestia has seen before, in one of those pervert magazines Pan send her._

**Hestia: **Oh my!

**Pan: **Yeah hon, d'you like what you see?

**Hestia: **I don't know what to say, but I must admit you're turning me on.

**Pan: **You do, erh? I knew it! The Devilish Winged Dude was wrong, you DO like me!

**Hestia: **Pan, there's something I've got to say... BUGGER OFF, I'D RATHER MAKE OUT WITH A 30-YEAR-OLD IMMATURE PERVERT! Of course I don't like you, you belong in a petting zoo! JUST PISS OFF!

**Pan: **I know you want me hon!

**Hestia: **(takes a valuable vase from the Ming Dynasty from her night table and breaks it between Pans horns) Here you go, a souvenir from my bedroom! (giggles)

**Pan: **I know you love me, I know you're going to do stuff with me if I'm passed o... (outside conscience)

**Hestia: **EROS GET YOUR MANICURED BUTT OVER HERE!

**Eros: **Yo Hes, I was looking for my un-love arrows. Damn, Zeus was hiding himself for Hera again... Really gotta lock my attic.

**Hestia: **I don't care, here d'you have some hair (pulls out some hair).

**Eros: **Okay, thanks. (ties up the hair to the un-love arrow)

**Hestia: **Quick! Push the arrow into his ass!

**Eros: **Hestia, I do apologize for what happened... (sticks the arrow into Pan's behind)

**Hestia: **It's ok dude, it was kinda funny too...

**Eros: **Yeah you're right...

_Hestia brings her face to Eros, her lips are shockingly near his right ear._

**Hestia: **And now it's time for Spongebob Squarepants with some milk and chocolate chip cookies.

**Eros: **Yeah dude, I mean chick. Spongebob, milk and cookies!

_Whole night long Eros and Hestia watch Spongebob DVD's. If the last episode is over, Eros brings his lips to hers, and they kiss. All those thousands of years, Hestia was single and virgin. And at that night.. well lets say Hestia wasn't really a virgin anymore. And to think of it, she punishes the Vestical Virgins who make out with men! How hypocritical! _


End file.
